Early morning ~ or late night .. that's what I get for napping. .

Vancouver at night. . . .

Well, here in the mid-west it is 1:00 a.m.





This has been a rough week. Working through it though. Today was shaky but I made it ~ succumbed to a nap and boy was it a good one. Dreams of all sorts. . . .that's actually really what I wanted to talk about.





Dreams. Effexor knocked out of me some basic human 'desires' let's say ~ but what it did give me in return was dreams. I have some really terrific dreams. I lost my mom 5 years ago, my step father 17 years ago and my beloved grandma Grace 34 years ago. They are all back with me nearly nightly. I have some of the most amazing dreams. We are together so often. Working through family issues, talking in some ways like we never really talked when they were here. I miss them all so very much ~ my Mom, oh yea. My Grandmother with a pain in my heart still. They say i'm a lot like her. An old soul. Or some such thing. But we are together. ..





I feel the love ~ I always talk about what a warm place it is for me to be with Mary and Grace at night. Some nights I will them to come to me. Mostly they are there unexpectedly and I greet them with love and open arms.





The effexor may not be the only reason for this ~ maybe it is my age and thinking about life's end-game. Them waiting for me somewhere when my times comes. Souls that travel through the galaxy or heavens or whatever together. I believe we do have souls we travel through time with. We are destined to find them in each and every life . . .so hold on to your seat. . . any day you could meet a soul you have not yet found ~ and it will make a difference in your days when that happens.





Back to the effexor though. One night over last weekend I think I was terrified to go to sleep - maybe I already wrote about it. It may have been a dream in a dream. Knowing that once I feel asleep that I was in for a bumpy ride. Terror ~ being chased and hunted down by something or someone wanting to hurt me. Crazy mind-bending fear. I did not sleep much that night. . .(unlike last night when it was a Terrible Terrier that kept waking me up. .)





Been a long week. My 'abandonment issue' got a work-out yesterday whe I was rejected for this clinical trial I was to be in for my fibromyalgia. It hurt for just a little while ~ but I worked it out baby. . .yea, jazzed it all away. But today I was left with a hang-over of sorts from what I'm not sure. . .oh yea, the Terrier. I'm good now. Looking forward to spring, flowers, green leaves and grass. Hosta galore (i'm an ole hosta rancher).





Night 'cha all! Tess signing off at 1:16 a.m. est.