I'm always trying to amuse myself. Guess that is what I'm doing with my writing. It keeps my mind off of the pain ~ fills me up with creativity that is the thing I am missing in my life. Creativity. I enjoy shooting photos. . . would have like to have had a dark room but I did not get that together. Now with digital photography it's just so darn easy.
Still I love my old Nikon FM I took to Europe with me when I was in college (hey, I made that happen). . . another pat on the back. I remember that trip soooooo well (except for the part on my birthday in a club with too many champagne cocktails with the Moroccan boys in Paris . .. a lot of that night is still missing snicker, snicker). . .Before heading to that part of the world we (a group from my School of Journalism . . ah yes, went to school to hone my oh so nifty writing skills) we were in the Big Apple (not my first time mind you but my third time and a year later I lived there for a summer ~coming back after that stay a 'tainted woman' to my small midwestern town. Ah, now I've gone and done it again. Drifted off the subject.
That brings me to what I really should be writing about. . .the buzz, buzz, buzzing in my head. Seems to be GONE! Mostly since yesterday. I'm just left feeling sort of worn out (but not too sore after yesterday's Jazzercize session ~ yea!). . . .I just feel like I'm on the mend but still sort of suffering from a very bad flu almost. My train of thought it still like an old engine ~ start and stopping but still plugging along.
Oh, so back to my other story that is really much more fun. The Big APPLE. And the guy at the camera shop ~ came to Ohio later to visit me. What a mistake (never saw him again after that if you know what I mean ~ but we did share 'The Stunt Man" on a very special level. What a great Peter O'Toole movie and I never met anyone who got that movie like I did. Now my son has taken the reigns and he probably gets it too like his ole Ma). So this guy, let's call him Felix. . . .looked down on my family in the midwest ~ and couldn't get my mantra of the day that I would design my own home, and do this by myself, and that. . . and one time we were together (still in NYC) he asked why I always talked in the singular when it came to my view of my 'adult' future and plans. Told him I did not trust anyone that way - to be there and oh, well, now I've even lost my interest in this post and this story. He was a butt and that was that. All we have is ourselves is the truth. You know that. We all know that. Family is so important.
You might want to move away ~ distance yourself so to speak from the family members that if you met them socially they would not be people you'd chose to be friends with. But. . . and that is the biggest BuT. Even if they talk about you behind your back they are still family. Gosh, is that enough. Even i'm wondering. I've been talked and talked about plenty behind my back ~ shoot one time they did not even know I was there . . . in the other room . . .awake. ..not 30 miles away like they thought. And they hurt me and hurt me . . ..and it's like one of those great cinema moments. I walk in the room and everyone's face is frozen. Whaaaaaaat are you doing here??? The freaking tearful 2-3 hour apology and barely speaking for months. ..when previously you THOUGHT you were so close.
Oh, brother I gotta go. I need more coffee. I feel good. . . .Gotta get a coherent train of thought going. Forgot to mention, my most darling Babie (9 month old Airedale she dog) kept me up nearly all night. Out at midnight ~ again at 4 ~ couldn't get back to sleep then so opened my book back up . . .am finishing Eugenides 'Middlesex' (got like 30 pages to go now after reading 'til 5 a.m.). Oh gosh and now she wants me to chase her). I'm beat on that level. Birds were singing when I finally got back to sleep. Poop.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment