58 hours later

About 58 hours ago I took my last dose of effexor xr. 37.5 mg. down from 75 mg the week before . . .down from 150 the week before that. Seven years or more (I just cannot remember but that is not unusual). . .I have wanted to get off of this medicine for a number of years but was AFRAID. They say it is non-habit forming, not addictive. Bull. Right now I am sitting and thinking pretty well. Earlier today my husband came home early from work to 'watch' me and make sure I did not hurt myself. I have had moments of weaving in my walk, brain buzzing - a lot - actually almost continual since late yesterday. Intestinal upsets. . and the most interesting to me even more than the buzzing in my head is the uncontrollable laughter - at unusual times. . .usually when I really want to cry. My airedale pup is mischievious and grabs precious items to get my attention. I wanted to cry late yesterday after she grabbed something I did not want destroyed and instead I burst into uncontrollable laughter. Sitting on the pot is another time it 'takes me' . . .Babie my airedale likes to be with me for much of anything I do - potty time, shower time. I near feel off the the commode laughing - no not just laughing - laughing insanely hard. I couldn't stop - my ex-husband called - I was seized by a fit of laughter that I couldn't stop. Crazy insane laughter that if you are caught in the middle of someone would be sure you needed to be commited.

So here we go again. Back to basics. Brain buzz, insane laughter, pressure behind my eyes and tiny tiny broken vessels in my eyes - so they are pinkish making me look very very stoned. Digestive upsets, lose bowels, buzz, buzz, buzz goes my brain. I could not trust my ability to drive today - so was taxied around to get my work done. . .luckily I have an ebay business so I can look like hell and act goofey and it doesn't scare anyone but my dogs and husband.

So some history. Anxiety with depression overlay from sick mom, angry and drug involved child and wacko-ex and a career I hated (I was an attorney). Effexor 150 + celexa - I weaned myself off the lexapro (it was changed to that right after the celexa became available in generic of course, and switched to lexapro. . .weight gain began soon after that) - I managed to wean myself off the lexapro with some old celexa I had (they are the same thing basically) . . .and my psychiatrist left her practice to become the head hauncho at a local hospital. . so I was left without anyone keeping an eye on me. 3 more years go by and I talk to family doctors and ob-gyn about getting off the effexor. They gave me the most uninformed schedule to wean myself off - idiots. I knew what they told me was wrong, wrong, wrong. So did not do it. As it is I think the three weeks I took to come off was a bit quick but for my Fibromyalgia I am willing to do it. . .Yes, I just got diagnosed with that and am regged up to be part of a clinical trial for a new drug for Fibromyalgia (I could talk about that - my 11 years waiting for that diagnosis).

So now I've confused myself - but the writing is helping keep the buzzing out of my head - the busier I keep the better I am feeling - at least for tonight. Hot flashes too. Need to shed some layers. .hang on.

Where was I? I was trying to give a history of how I came to be on effexor. My struggle to get a medical professional who would help me get off of it (oh, many of the years I was on it and seeing a shrink I had no health insurance. ..) . So here I am. I have to volunteer for a clinical trial to surround myself with health care workers, nurses, doctors to get off of it and to try a new drug to help me with the pain I have lived with since 1997 and no one could tell me why. (I was tested for parvo, arthritis, MS, lupus, etc, etc.). The outcome. Don't know what's wrong with you lady.

So here I sit. 58 hours and some minutes without effexor and my body - my brain is FREAKING out. It will be worth it I know.

I went to Jazzercise a few days ago - had hoped to go yesterday or today but the withdrawl effects - well, lets say I would have ended up face down on a mat.